By John Lindstrom
Publisher
Posted: May 4, 2015 2:47 PM

For those who are looking for odd bits of knowledge to use as an ice-breaker at the bar or that awkward party, why there’s nothing better to review than the weekly disease reports issued by the Department of Health and Human Services.

These are the initial reports sent to the state by physicians and hospitals of various infectious diseases. Often the initial reports are revised as more information and better diagnoses are rendered (so for example, earlier this year we thought we had had 10 cases of measles in the state so far in 2015, but that has been revised to one confirmed case).

Also occasionally operator error plugs a disease report in the wrong place. For example, some years ago the state reported a case of anthrax. When this reporter checked on that it turns out the wrong disease was indicated and it was really a case of blastomycosis or something equally unfun.

The disease report has recently gone through a sharp little update. The website has been re-formatted and redesigned so that it is much cleaner to the eye and quite a bit easier to read.

And we have lots of new diseases to check on too. Now we don’t have to worry just about Hanta Virus (never reported in Michigan, thank all powers that be, since it causes an unpleasant end) we can also be terrified of “Hanta Virus, Other” and “Hanta Virus, Pulmonary.”

Along with reporting rabies, animal or human, we now also report animal bites: 789 thus far in 2015; 3,466 in 2014. Just keep your hands to yourself, folks.

The ever infectiously popular strep throat now has a listing.

And what to make of this category: “Unusual Outbreak or Occurrence?” Listen up folks, we’ve had 68 of those so far this year. And we had 291 such unusual outbreaks or occurrences in 2014. Well, it was an election year. Hmmm, would spontaneous combustion fall under that category?

Finally, yes, yes, we now report cases of head lice. So far in 2015, 2,380 reported cases. In 2014, 5,944 cases. So, can’t think of how to start the conversation at the latest PTA meeting? Give you’re a scalp a little scratch for dramatic emphasis and intone: “Say, did you know Michigan reports 2,380 cases of head lice so far this year?”